I've learned a lot this year. To say that 2020 has been a good year would be a gigantic stretch of the imagination. You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours." Well, I'm drenched. And have been since February. I feel like I'm on a skateboard rolling down a greased hill.
And then there's COVID.
As if life couldn't get more complicated, the pandemic hit. At first I thought the radio was joking about a toilet paper shortage. They weren't. I thought rationing my toilet paper squares to 4 per use would be the extent to my inconvenience. But I was wrong.
Enter Distance Learning. I could call it other names. But I won't. You get the idea. Somehow I kept my sanity during distance learning. And being on call 24/7.
Next came the hand sanitizer shortage. I scrambled around to find what we had in various vehicles. Made sure I used them after leaving the grocery store. And still, things weren't quite sinking in. Until the mask.
Now, I'm a rebel at heart, but I'm also an oxymoron. I'm tenderhearted and a rule follower. Until I've had enough, then the rebel appears. But aside from that, I tried to be a good citizen. I bought masks. I wore masks. And then that fateful day came when I took it off. Inside the store. I watched to see when they'd call security to have me removed from the premises. They didn't. I relaxed a little. But still my eyes were darting around, just waiting for someone to drag me out the door. Then came the rebellion. I had that "just try to make me wear a mask" attitude. Nothing happened. Everyone acted normal. Store associates still smiled at me and talked to me. I still practiced social distancing and sanitizing, but I felt like I had come out from behind a curtain. And then I remembered... I wasn't wearing make-up.
Typically I make sure I'm ready for the world when I go out. I don't want to scare people. But the most important thing I've learned about myself during this crazy time is that it's okay to step out without make-up. Now, I know I'm making light of a serious situation, but please spare me the lectures. We all need a laugh.
Years ago a former student had challenged her friends to go without make-up and accept their natural beauty. She encouraged others to find their inner beauty and not be afraid to step out plain face. I thought she was brave. I admired her. But I didn't follow her advice. I still loaded on the cover-up before facing the public.
Taking the mask off that day and realizing that people didn't stare at my face was eye-opening to me. I gained a confidence that I hadn't had in years. I realized that beauty is certainly more than skin deep. I realized that my student was right. We're all beautiful. In our own, unique ways. We are all special.
I'm looking for a bright spot in this serious time. Something that I can learn. Something positive in all this negativity. And this is it. I can accept myself for who I am and be confident regardless of what others may think when they see me. If they are looking at every flaw and fault then that's their problem. Not mine. Sure, I'll still want to cover up a blemish, but the wrinkles aren't going anywhere. I am who I am. And that's okay.
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