Test Stress

 A few months ago I wrote a blog about low morale and high stress as we were heading into the holiday season. Now, we are once again approaching another stressful season- the season of testing.  It is very easy to say, "Don't stress. You've done all you can do.  You can't teach your kids anything else. "  And the list goes on. But, the truth is... I'm the queen of stress. I worry about every little thing. My head tells me that I am wasting my time because there are things I have no control over. My heart tells me that God has this and He is certainly capable of dealing with anything that comes my way. My body refuses to listen. I wake up during the deepest, darkest part of the night to replay events or to play out possible scenarios.  What if? What if? What if?  

I did exactly the opposite of what I advised my students - get plenty of rest.  Why is testing so stressful? Because too much emphasis has been placed on it.  We work with our students all year. We give them everything we've got. Teach them everything we can possibly teach under each child's unique circumstances. And, at the end of the year the only measurement that we take is a test. One.  A few days of testing is supposed to tell the world everything we've accomplished in the entire school year.  It doesn't matter if the student improved their reading level or if they are coping with grief. All that matters is a number. Testing reduces our children to a number. 

And, that one number reflects our year long efforts. Nothing else we've done matters much at the end of the year. The only thing that can prove we've taught is one number.  But, one number doesn't tell the story. Teaching isn't black and white. It is full of color. Teaching involves individuals that have different needs, backgrounds, learning styles, and goals.  Testing only looks at the final product, but it doesn't measure each step that we've taken together from day one until the last day. 

I can't tell you how to deal with stress because I don't know how to deal with it myself. I get through it.  Even now that I am teaching adults, I still stress over mid-terms and finals.  But, once I'm on the other side, I realize that I'm alive, the world didn't end, and my students did their best. That's really all that should matter - that they tried and did their best.  I'll just let the numbers fall where they may and I'll keep teaching people. 

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