Some of you are ending your spring break and some are just preparing to enjoy some R & R.  Parent conferences are the furthest thing from your mind. Right? Wrong! Parent conferences are never far from a teacher's mind. One of the goals that teachers desire is to have a positive working relationship with parents. I used to use the slogan teachers + parents = a successful year for students.  Corny, huh?  But I meant it. I truly desired to work with parents. To form a team that would work together to help their child navigate the twists and turns of middle school. I formed some wonderful relationships and made some great memories, but unfortunately the old adage, "You can't please everyone all the time" rang true. There were those that were unhappy no matter what I did. I could have handed them a golden ticket and still been that "nasty teacher that is out to hurt my precious child". Nothing could have been further from the truth, but that was their perception.

There are those parents that insist on enabling their child. I was introduced to that term my second year as a teacher.  It was a foreign term to me. I couldn't understand why parents wouldn't want the best for their child. Why would a parent intentionally make everything easier for their child knowing that their child wouldn't succeed in the "real world". I was old- school and had been raised by old-fashioned parents that believed that I needed skills to succeed. I needed to learn. I needed to be respectful. And, if I wasn't??? If I got in trouble at school, I got in trouble at home. My parents didn't blame Ms. Barley. They blamed me. They didn't question her or her ability to teach and correct. They did doubt my ability to follow rules. So.... when Ms. Barley called my mom, my mom believed her and I got it. Big time! But did I learn? Yes, I learned to follow rules, accept responsibly, and be accountable for my behavior.  Not bad for a seven year old.

The concept of enabling is alive and well. It even has an offspring- entitlement. Students come with expectations. Not of what they can learn, but of what we can give them. Some of their parents have the same attitude. In my opinion, the best thing to do in this situation, is let it go. Do what you can do and don't sweat over the rest of it. You will never change these people or their attitudes.  It will probably take a reality check to do that. Focus on what is good. The students who want to achieve. The parents that are supportive. Do your best in the situation that you find yourself. And... pray. A lot. Using the advice of a dear friend, I prayed over my classroom, before school started, every year. One of the things that I asked for was to develop a positive, working relationships with the parents. I walked the room and went to each desk, asking God to bless the student that would sit there and to help me see their good. I asked God to help the parents see my efforts and my intentions as they were and not view me as an enemy forcing their child to grow up.

God and I walked a lot of circles around my classrooms over the last 20+ years. Some years have been better than others, but all have been memorable.  Sometimes I have to stop and remember that I am human. I will make mistakes, but my heart is in the right place. And that, is all that matters.


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 A few months ago I wrote a blog about low morale and high stress as we were heading into the holiday season. Now, we are once again approaching another stressful season- the season of testing.  It is very easy to say, "Don't stress. You've done all you can do.  You can't teach your kids anything else. "  And the list goes on. But, the truth is... I'm the queen of stress. I worry about every little thing. My head tells me that I am wasting my time because there are things I have no control over. My heart tells me that God has this and He is certainly capable of dealing with anything that comes my way. My body refuses to listen. I wake up during the deepest, darkest part of the night to replay events or to play out possible scenarios.  What if? What if? What if?  

I did exactly the opposite of what I advised my students - get plenty of rest.  Why is testing so stressful? Because too much emphasis has been placed on it.  We work with our students all year. We give them everything we've got. Teach them everything we can possibly teach under each child's unique circumstances. And, at the end of the year the only measurement that we take is a test. One.  A few days of testing is supposed to tell the world everything we've accomplished in the entire school year.  It doesn't matter if the student improved their reading level or if they are coping with grief. All that matters is a number. Testing reduces our children to a number. 

And, that one number reflects our year long efforts. Nothing else we've done matters much at the end of the year. The only thing that can prove we've taught is one number.  But, one number doesn't tell the story. Teaching isn't black and white. It is full of color. Teaching involves individuals that have different needs, backgrounds, learning styles, and goals.  Testing only looks at the final product, but it doesn't measure each step that we've taken together from day one until the last day. 

I can't tell you how to deal with stress because I don't know how to deal with it myself. I get through it.  Even now that I am teaching adults, I still stress over mid-terms and finals.  But, once I'm on the other side, I realize that I'm alive, the world didn't end, and my students did their best. That's really all that should matter - that they tried and did their best.  I'll just let the numbers fall where they may and I'll keep teaching people. 

And speaking of tests...... One of my newest products. Check it out!

Test Prep Task Cards

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This blog does not share personal information with third parties nor do I store any information about your visit to this blog other than to analyze and optimize your content and reading experience through the use of cookies. You can turn off the use of cookies at anytime by changing your specific browser settings. I am not responsible for republished content from this blog on other blogs or websites without my permission. This privacy policy is subject to change without notice and was last updated on June 5, 2015. If you have any questions feel free to contact me directly at kimberlyfrencken@gmail.com

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Chocolate 4 Teachers

Have you noticed that each 'category' of teachers boasts their own character traits. Primary teachers are usually soft spoken, patient, and say everything with a smile.  High School teachers are usually laid back and can actually carry on adult conversations throughout the work day (in most cases). But, what about those in the middle. The Middle School Teacher. Are they lost in the middle like a middle child? Hardly! You can usually tell a middle school teacher by some defining traits. Remember I was a middle school teacher for 20 years, so this is just a light-hearted look at what makes us tick.

1. We have a highly developed sarcastic sense of humor. Middle Schoolers are still developing. Our humor often flies over their head (even though they are themselves sarcastic), but when they 'get it'....... watch out. Lots of laughter will follow.

2. We know how to pick our battles. Middle Schoolers love to argue. About Everything! Sometimes, shaking our head we just walk away.

3. We say we're not going to repeat, only to repeat that we are not going to repeat because Middle Schoolers haven't fine tuned their sense of hearing yet.

4. We are tireless, able to leap tall desks, run up flights of stairs, eat lunch in 15 minutes, and still attend after school meetings and functions looking only slightly harried.

5. We're a little quirky which is why we love those quirky, awkward, wanna-be adults. We love spending time with them. We love teaching them.

And, that is why we teach middle school!
Are you a middle school teacher?



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This blog does not share personal information with third parties nor do I store any information about your visit to this blog other than to analyze and optimize your content and reading experience through the use of cookies. You can turn off the use of cookies at anytime by changing your specific browser settings. I am not responsible for republished content from this blog on other blogs or websites without my permission. This privacy policy is subject to change without notice and was last updated on June 5, 2015. If you have any questions feel free to contact me directly at kimberlyfrencken@gmail.com

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Chocolate 4 Teachers