I hate being told what to do. Sometimes. Sometimes being told is necessary. Like a new procedure or learning how to use a piece of equipment or the guidelines of a new place. Sometimes it isn't necessary. Like telling me how to do something I've done a million ...
We've all heard the "next time you do that" speech. I'd like to know when next time happens. Does it ever happen? Or is this threat an empty attempt at parenting or classroom discipline?
You don't have to be in a classroom to observe this. Take a trip to the grocery store, your neighborhood convenience store, or a sporting event. Years ago I was in my backyard and kept hearing a neighbor yell at her daughter. She kept telling her, "The next time you do that I'll come out there" (Yes, she was in the house). Two of her children were trying to play basketball, but her precious little girl kept stealing the ball and throwing it across the yard. This went on for what seemed like forever. The boys whined and the girl laughed and the mom screamed. Finally, I'd had enough. I added my voice into the fracas. I asked mom if next time ever came. She didn't answer. But the daughter let the boys have the ball and stopped interfering. Mom quit yelling empty threats. Peace was finally restored to the neighborhood.
There are some parents who are too busy or too tired to be parents so they place their child in front of a screen and take a break. I understand being tired. And I know there are difficult kids that seem unreachable. I get it when you've had enough, nothing is working, and you just don't know what to do anymore. I certainly understand frustration with a system that doesn't seem to support you in your efforts.
There are some teachers that struggle with classroom management. And if you doubt that, just take a look at all the new strategies that have been developed to address classroom management. If everyone were good with classroom management, there wouldn't be a need to continue developing programs.
There will always be that child that gets on every nerve in your body. There will always be the day that you are at the end of your rope. There will always be a day when you don't pick this battle. You simply ignore it, give up, or move on. But consistently ignoring behavior that is not acceptable is sending a silent message that you condone the behavior. Or you're not interested enough in the child to invest some time to teach them better behavior.
I don't have all the answers. I'm still learning. Hopefully, I'm learning from mistakes I've made along the way. Hopefully, I've learned that taking time to address an issue can help a child learn to make better choices in the future. Hopefully, I'll be consistent enough that they will know that next time does and will come.
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